As some of you dear readers may know, I’ve worked at my local library in Hometown since I was a sophomore in high school, first year round as a page (meaning I put books back on shelves after people returned them) and then, during college vacations, as a fill-in wherever I’ve been needed, whether it be at the circulation desk, or as a fill-in children’s librarian, or even in the basement, covering books in plastic and putting call number stickers on them. Annually, I also get to work for approximately twelve hours in one day, as the library opens its doors to the high school population only, on the Sunday before exam week, which was today.
And I love it! Granted, paging was kind of boring, but I was able to discover so many books that I never would have otherwise. I love working with people, helping them find books, talking about favorite books, making recommendations, just as much as I love being in the basement, handling all the new books that come through the door, right before they enter the hands of the waiting public (and not only because it means first dibs!).
When I was briefly in France for a very abbreviated, uncomfortable stay (don’t get me wrong – I love France, but this visit just wasn’t the best), I had a half hour walk from where I was staying to the school where I was taking language classes. In fact, it was a 20-30 minute walk to get to just about anywhere in the town. So I plugged into my iPod and discovered the glory of podcasts, because despite having a few thousand songs on that same iPod, it does get repetitive after a while. I developed very discriminating tastes for my podcasts as I walked through the streets of France, and I eventually discovered a few podcasts that were put on by librarians, discussing issues of the day, problems facing libraries. I listened, and I learned.
As a rising senior in college, with a brother who graduated from college a month ago, and as someone who reads the paper daily, my future is on my mind a lot. And, just like when I was attempting to chose my major, I feel like I am being pulled in so many different directions that I simply can’t pick any. Unlike my major, which I was able to design myself in a multi-disciplinary approach, life doesn’t seem to appreciate that approach.
Ok, so I want to go to grad school. But first I need to pick an area to concentrate on. Ok, so law school might be a good idea, but it means a 3-year commitment to something I’m not sure is right for me. Ok, the workforce is out there waiting, but in this economy? And with my indecision? Ha!
So what does this have to do with librarianship? Well, recently it’s become more and more of a consideration for me. Before, it was more in the back of my mind than anything else. But in the past few weeks, it has started edging out the competition. In the past few weeks, I have enjoyed working at the library for a few hours a day, and only stop at a few hours because I have to. In the past few weeks, there have been celebrations for the retiring library director, whose amazing accomplishments have been highlighted, making me think, “I want to do that! I want to help people discover how amazing libraries are! I want to bring a community together through a love of books! I want to make a difference!”
My mother works at the same library full time, which is actually what originally led me to apply for a job there. And I know that my father thinks it’s a nice job and all, but it’s not a real job. It’s not a vocation. It’s something old ladies and mothers do to keep busy when they no longer have to take care of their children full time. It’s not worthy of the high potential of my mind. I know I’m the smartest child in my family (a fact that’s just a fact, not for bragging purposes here). And I know my father has high expectations of me. Yes, he’ll support me in anything I want to do, because he loves me, but I know that if I choose this route, he’ll be disappointed and think that I sold myself short.
My professors at college also have high expectations of me. I am continually told that I should go to grad school, that I am grad school material. All compliments I love to hear and that reinforce my desire to go to grad school. But if I told them that I was going to grad school to become a librarian? I can see the raised eyebrows now, the questions about if this is something I really want to do.
And it is! And it isn’t. I don’t know. It’s an area that I think I would love to pursue, but I’m not sure if I want to pursue it to the exclusion of anything else. And I know that I’m young, but I don’t want to pursue something half-heartedly. If I do something, I need to know that it’s the right thing for me to do. And I know that life doesn’t always work that way, but grad school does.
And if you’ve made it here, to the end of this long foray into the morasses of my mind, dear readers, I thank you. Any advice, life lessons, or any comment at all is greatly appreciated!