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Archive for January, 2009

As the clock ticks* closer to 9pm, my eyelids begin to droop and I realize that college is exhausting.  I only had one class today, which is practically a miracle to some folks, but then I ate a brief lunch with my roomie, worked for 3 hours at my internship editing some HTML, had the first part of my interview to be an RA next year, came back to my room and got some work done, went out again for part two of my interview, then had dinner in a very loud and obnoxious dining hall, and finally returned to my room.  Oh, and did I mention I accomplished all this in heels and a dress?  In 30 degree weather?  So yea, I’m a wee bit tired.

The interview, part I, didn’t go as well as I would have liked.  I just need more time to think when I speak.  Which is why I much prefer my written answers to the my oral ones during the actual interview.  And since part II was essentially part I with different people, I had better answers, having rehashed everything in the intervening hours.  An idle and overwrought mind is dangerous.  Dangerous, I tell you!

So, I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll actually get chosen.  I didn’t think I was all that invested in the outcome until today, after I had finished the interviews, and realized that I actually cared if I got the job.  Part of that is probably because I discovered there was actually more competition than I had been led to believe, so my competitive side kicked in.  Actually, who am I kidding?  I don’t just have a competitive side – all of me is competitive.  It’s bad.  Really bad.

Anyhoo…  This is my life currently.  I may not have many classes, but I am somehow an expert at filling up my time with exhausting experiences.  Who know that interviewing could be so exhausting?  I would actually love to go to bed now, since I do have an early morning lab that I need to get up for in about 10 hours, but since roomie is still up and doing homework, that it so obviously not going to happen.  Plus, I’m not ready to turn into an old lady.

Eh, who am I kidding?  I’ve been an old lady since I was 10!  Probably earlier actually.

So, bon soir, mes amis!

*Metaphorically of course, for all my clocks are digital since ticking clocks drive me absolutely bonkers when I’m trying to sleep at night

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This semester, I am taking a total of four classes, three of which directly relate to my interdisciplinary major.  Though I created my major approximately a year ago, I have been unable to narrow it down or figure out exactly what the heck my goal was in creating it in the first place, except as a way to escape the constraints of the normal majors.

So, this semester is the semester.  In the course of this semester, I plan to essentially map out my immediate (and not-so-immediate) future in terms of the world of academia.  No biggie.  Right?

In meeting with my academic advisor, who helped me create this monstrosity* of a major in the first place, I still am left tongue-tied as to what direction I hoped to go in in terms of my major.  Because he is a Rhetoric and Communication professor, I have been leaning towards looking at the communication component of my major.  Until now.  Now I want the history.

This semester, I am taking a course in the history of American technology, and, while the professor and I don’t exactly meet eye-to-eye**, every single reading (in the week and a half of classes that we have had thus far…) have made me so excited to be reading them.

I even talked to the professor about my major on the first day of class, hoping he could help me with a potential reading list for my independent study with my advisor, and he emailed me a potential starter book and an article.

The article, with his commentary that it would probably take a few readings to understand, is still waiting for me to even start reading.

The book, however.  Ah, the book.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love libraries, by the way?  You go to find just one book and end up discovering fifteen more that are all applicable.  And fabulous.  And you just want to get all of them out of the library and take them back to your room and curl up and read them all until the end of time.  But can’t.  Because the end of time is the beginning of your next class.  Or you actually need sleep.  Or food.  Or something interrupts.  But in the end, you just have a stack of fabulous books just taunting you on your desk, waiting to be read.

This is my life.

So, back to my story…

I went to find the book he suggested.

And discovered my new favorite place in the library:

An entire section on the history of technology…

…a course of study I never knew even existed until last week…

…located in the back corner of the library…

…where no one will even bother me…

…and I can jump up and down and dance like a crazy person…

…because I have just discovered the topic that I might just want to go to grad school for!

This is a very very exciting day for me.  I have been considering grad school for a while now, considering how much I love being in school, but have never discovered anything that I think I could totally study for years on end and not get bored by it.  Until now.

The best part about the history of technology is the inherent interdisciplinary nature of it, in my eyes at least.  As I’m reading the books and essays for this class, I can see so many different avenues to explore that connect to the classes that I have already defined as parts of my major, and more that I have taken just for fun!  Not to mention all the parts that are related to my peripheral interests, but haven’t had the chance to take a class in!

Did I mention how ecstatic I am?

*Monstrosity in terms of size, not terrible-ness

**Seriously, one of my biggest pet peeves about people in general is when they look anywhere but at you when they are talking, and this professor — someone whose very profession requires human interaction and engagement — spends most of the time staring down at the current day’s reading instead of at the class.  GRRR.  So totally not cool.

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For some reason unbeknowst to me, I have been having almost constant nightmares this vacation.  Of course, all the research says that nightmares come as a result of increased stress and uneven sleep patterns.  The problem with this is that, since it’s vacation and all, I have zero stress and I am getting plenty of sleep every night, around the same time.  Oh fabulous interwebs, what is wrong with me?

The other odd thing is that most of them are about murder in some way.  One night my boyfriend killed my sister.  A few nights ago, there were a lot of murders, but none of anyone I knew.  Last night was a lovely serial killer who was really creepy.  And at the end, he was killing four of the muppets, actually.  Fozzie, Kermit, Gonzo, and Rizzo the Rat.  That may not sound very scary, but trust me, it was terrifying.

What do dreams/nightmares about murder mean?

Actually, I just want them to stop.  It’s getting annoying and creepy and scary.  I doubt very much that it is healthy to be constantly wakened by nightmares.  How do I get rid of them?

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Happy New Year, World!

I’ve never been one to make new year resolutions, and I’m not about to start, sorry.  Nor am I going to join the club of reflecting on my last year.  Sorry if you were looking forward to that.

What comes in this new year will come.  The past is the past.  The future is the future.  Now is now.  Life is in a perpetual state of motion, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.

That’s the secret of life.  My new year’s gift to you.  You’re welcome. 😀

So happy new year, however you chose to celebrate it, whether it be with loads of crazy people or alone with your tv (which was my choice, thankyouverymuch!).  Have fun!

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